6 months! Where has my newborn gone? :-)

I can't believe that Jack is 6 months old! It still feels like it was last week that he was born. The memories of him kicking inside my belly, the first time I saw him, the first time I held him in my arms...all seem so fresh still. Its hard to believe that in another short 6 months he will be 1 years old.  Time is flying by!

Little Man is flying through his babyhood. At 2 months he started rolling over, at 3 months he started crawling, at 4 months toys became his joyful focus, at 5 months he realized he loved our dogs, at 6 months he crawls incredibly fast to every part of the house, gets into EVERYTHING, and is trying to walk.  WHERE did my newborn go? :-)  Its been so fun to watch him discover and try new things.  Trying new foods have been particularly fun.  We had decided to skip  jarred baby food puree's and rice cereal since Josh and I try to stay away from overly processed foods as we can in our normal day to day and we wanted to do the same with Jack.  So around 4 months when he started showing curiosity towards food we where eating, we decided to let him try a couple things using the "baby led solids approach".  Since he was trying foods earlier than I had originally planned, I bought a baby mesh feeder that I put pieces of whole banana or avocado in for him to try. The mesh feeder helped him hold it better and taught him to chew up the small bites he would get their the mesh.  He used that about a month before he learned how to grasp tiny objects so I started giving him small cubes of steamed fruits and veggies. He is a curious and enthusiastic eater. So far the only item he doesn't like his peaches. I gave him a slice of a peach and he didn't like it. But avocado and sweet potato's seem to be his favorites, with green beans running a close third. I'm still nursing him for his primary nutrition, but the addition of trying new foods has been a fun process for him so far.

This past month, we had his baby dedication at our church. Josh's dad performed the ceremony. It was sweet and made me so thankful for the family we have and the church family we have. Jack has a lot of people around him to speak life into him and its a precious gift I value greatly.

Last week we went on a week long vacation to Marianna to visit our family up there. Jack got to play with his cousins and loved it.  My nephew Carson is 3 and my niece Julia is 2. Spending time with all 3 of the kids together made me incredibly excited for the large family we hope to have. I loved watching the kids all play together and it made the trip such a joyful one. With all 3 kiddo's so close in age It was loud, busy, chaotic, and I loved every minute of it. We even took the kids to the park one morning and Jack got to play in the sand and swing on the swings for the first time. It was a refreshing week as we soaked up family time.

Besides delighting in our growing little boy, life has continued the same fast pace as we're working hard to get new programs and ministries started at our church this year. The friendships and community we've developed at Genesis Church are such precious relationships and I'm constantly impressed and humbled watching the commitment, determination, and love the people in our congregation show towards others. I'm so happy to be apart of it.

The past 7 weeks

The past 7 weeks have a sleepy blur of bliss. I'm enjoying the cuddles and snuggles of the newborn phase. Even the waking up during the night hasn't been awful. I'm definitely tired, but every time I'm woken up by the needs of my sweet little boy, I remind myself to be thankful. Thankful he's healthy. Thankful he is growing. Thankful I get the opportunity to be a mother.  And feelings of being tired melt away as I remember my little man won't always need me this way. This precious time is such a short season and so this mindset has made even the 2am feedings special to me.

So far, at home Jackson isn't really a crier.  He fusses when he gets hungry and thats about it. He is a major cuddler and wants to be held all the time. I don't mind one bit. It'll be soon enough that my sweet boy will be running and jumping around. So I'm soaking up this sweet phase of snuggles.  However, we've learned that Little Man does NOT like to be in the car seat with a dirty diaper. And somehow within 5-10 mins of us being in the car- a dirty diaper always seems to happen. lol. He will scream rather passionately until we pull over so I can change him. Once in a fresh diaper- my sweet Little Man appears again and is as happy as can be for the rest of the car ride. lol.  He isn't a fan of the doctor either. He definitely knows the difference between Josh and I and the doctor. He'll start fussing before she even gets to examine him, but then the second he's back in Josh or I's arms- he stops fussing. Its been really neat to see how fast the bond a baby has for his parents develops. Jackson identifies us as comfort and anytime Josh speaks- Jackson will look around for him. He'll even wake up if he hears Josh's voice. (So Josh has gotten good at whispering when he gets home late, lol).  Last Thursday night, Josh has a grad class. So he didn't get home until close to 11pm. Jackson had been nursing and was falling asleep until he heard Josh's voice when he walked in the door. Then he was wide awake and looking for Josh. It was adorable. Watching Josh cuddle and talk to our son is my favorite part of the day. Its a completely different element to marriage, watching your spouse be a parent. Those moments melt my heart.

I've also been really surprised at how fast recovery from labor and delivery is. 7 days after delivery I'd lost 27 lbs (making me 7 lbs lighter than pre-pregnancy!) and wasn't sore anymore. Pretty much since pushing him out, I've felt great. Morning sickness is finally over and I feel like a real person again.  Pregnancy was pretty hard for me, so its been really nice to finally have an easier phase. I've got energy again and am even getting more sleep now with a newborn than I did when I was pregnant. During the pregnancy I threw up so much and so often that I was pretty much in a constant state of feeling bad. So its been really wonderful to feel good again. I was shocked about the weight loss that 1st week but super thankful for it.  Since I've lost all my pregnancy weight already, I can focus on dropping weight I had gained when I broke my ankle last year. I had been so afraid that I'd end up tacking on a ton of pregnancy weight to weight I'd gained with my injury and that it'd take me forever to lose it. But thankfully that hasn't been the case. Looking forward to trying and fitting exercise into my day again.

In other news, Josh officially received his credentials to be a minister with the Assemblies of God churches.  So the transition of Josh becoming the lead pastor for our church officially is just about to happen. Our church members and board all voted yes :-)  so just waiting on the district officials to set the date for the ceremony.  Its an exciting time and we are so thankful to get the chance to come along side such great people as we grow and do life together.  Its such a wonderful opportunity.

Life's crazy busy, but the good kind of busy. So thankful for this new sweet chapter as we are walking into parenthood and leading a church.  Its a growing and stretching season, but filled with such joy.

My heart is full.

                                                      My last picture pregnant : 41 weeks

                                      Born August 11th 2013 1:54pm  10lbs even 22 1/2 inches

                                                                         Full hands

                                           16 days old, wearing 3 month old clothes. My little man.

                                                                        Daddy cuddle time

                             This is the look I get when I put him down, lol. He prefers to be held.

                                                                      Little Ham

                                                                           Happy

                                                    1st smile caught on camera (3 weeks old)

                                               

" She decided to start living the life she had imagined"

I'm a Mama.

3 little words that hold such incredible significance and have forever changed me. Its so overwhelmingly surreal.

Little man was due to arrive August 1st, but didn't show up until August 11th. So at 41 weeks 3 days, he finally made his appearance. Labor was harder than I had ever imagined. It was discovered during my labor that Jackson was in the posterior position. He was head down, but face up. Making labor a hard and slow process since he was hitting my pelvic bone instead of slipping down under it. Thankfully, I had an amazing support team with me.  My doctor worked hard with us to help get him born safely (with NO c-section, thank God!) Josh was quite literally my pillar of strength when I just didn't think I could go on. Betty, my mother in law, brought such love and security to me when all I could do was cry from exhaustion. And Michelle, our doula, brought support and techniques to help me through the contractions and back labor that I would have been lost without. She empowered both Josh and Betty to help me in ways I hadn't anticipated needing. It was this team that helped keep me going as I worked hard to meet my son.

Sunday, August 11th at 1:54pm, after 43 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing, Jackson Steven Grace was born. Weighing 10 lbs even, and 22 1/2 inches long and completely capturing my heart. With one last push, he was suddenly here and time stood still. I was crying, Josh was crying, and Betty was crying. It was the most magical moment of my entire life. I've never before felt so strong, so feminine, so close to my husband, or so in awe of God's design. It was the most intense experience I've ever had and equally the most amazing. I'm so incredibly thankful to have had the chance to experience it and to hold a happy, healthy baby boy in my arms. I look down at him and see parts of both Josh and I and I fall in love with my husband all over again. We created a little life together and now we get the opportunity to watch him grow. Words don't do justice how amazing that is.

I saw the quote "she decided to start living the life she had imagined" some time ago and it stuck with me. I believe that God puts desires on your heart for a reason and equips you with the ability to chase after those dreams. That is how Josh and I strive to live our life. To be always enjoying today as we move towards our goals. To not wait for things to simply happen, but to live each day finding the joy in it. Its hard work and keeps our days full, but the reward is rich. We are content. We are happy. We are living the life we had imagined.

Almost there

This week I'm 38 weeks pregnant! I can't believe how fast the past 9 months have gone. As rough as some moments have been, the pregnancy really has flown by so fast and I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to experience it. Growing a little life has been harder than I had imagined, but at the same time so wonderfully amazing. Every time I see Jackson shake my belly or feel a quick kick or slow roll, it never fails to make me smile. Its so amazing how intricate the whole process is and how God designed my body to know exactly what to do.  It really is amazing.

I've got 2 weeks left until my due date, but we've reached the milestone of being "full term." Meaning Jackson could decide to come at any point now and be safe and healthy.  My doctor has told me its just a waiting game at this point. He could come tomorrow, or wait until 41 weeks.  We'll just wait and see.  Both Josh and I are ready to finally meet this little boy we've been falling in love with these past 9 months.

Aside from extreme morning sickness that I've dealt with the entire pregnancy (even still), I've been incredibly blessed that we haven't encountered a single complication throughout these 9 months.  Both Jackson and I have been super healthy and I'm so thankful for that.  Somehow, despite not keeping much food down, my body has still managed to gain a healthy weight. I've gained 17 lbs total so far and my blood pressure has been amazing the whole time.  The pregnancy cravings that I've encountered over the past few months have been : Celery, apples, pickles (this was a big one- ate like a jar a week), grapefruit, and orange juice.  Not sure if water really counts as a "craving" but I can never seem to have enough water near me, lol.  Which even shows in the food that I have craved- with throwing up so much I've battled dehydration a couple times. And so it even showed in the foods that my body wanted- celery is mostly water, pickles balance out your electrolytes, grapefruit has high water content and folic acid. So its been interesting to see my body crave exactly what it needed to keep both me and Jackson healthy.  Josh and I were both pretty healthy eaters prior to pregnancy, but since getting pregnant- that upped even higher for me. My body just didn't want a whole lot of junk.  So its been super easy to primarily stick to foods that were healthy for me.  

We're almost done with the nursery decorations. It's taken us while to have time to paint the walls since we had to wait for Josh to get a break with grad classes.  But its coming along so well. We're doing a Dr. Seuss theme and I love it.  I know its silly since babies don't care about decorations and Jackson won't even sleep in his own room until about 4 months old, but it sure is fun for the parents to set up the nursery.  Just walking in the room makes me smile. Its adorable. 

As strange as it may sound, as of right now, neither myself or Josh have any nervousness or anxiety about the upcoming birth. I mostly just feel ready.  We've done a lot to prepare while still having a flexible mindset.  We're both definitely planners and pretty hands on when it comes to our medical care, but at the end of the day- birth is unpredictable. Never know exactly how it'll go until you're there. So we both have a solid understanding of the options available and what might happen in a true emergency situation.  But mostly, we both just feel ready. Josh is crazy excited about every part of pregnancy and birth. He is impressed with  how dramatically a women's body changes so quickly to care for a little life and he is ecstatic about getting to hold Jackson soon.  I'm very ready for Jackson to be in my arms soon, as well as have morning sickness finally be over.  And be able to breathe again, lol. Right now, Jackson is taking up a good deal of space which makes its near impossible to take a full breath at once.  But I'm pretty sure the fact that labor will mean the end of morning sickness is going to be huge motivation for me during the moments I'm exhausted.  So now we just wait and see what day this little man picks to be his birthday. :-)  

Love, Mama

My little Jackson,  

You've been growing like crazy over the past month. With each passing day, I feel you move around with more strength. Your kicks and flips shake my belly quite visibly and often even wake me from sleeping.  It never fails to bring a smile to my face and a spirit of thankfulness to my heart as with each flip and kick, I'm reassured you're doing great and growing just as you should.  We've got just 9 more weeks to go, and your Daddy is just beside himself with excitement to meet you.  You're so special to him already, my sweet boy.  He can't wait to find out what types of things you'll like to do and the interests you'll have.  We know already that you certainly like your sleep.  Any time we've had an ultrasound to see how you're growing, its taken quite a bit of effort to wake you up.  You sleep on your stomach with your little feet tucked under and refuse to budge until you're ready.  I've been awed each time we've gotten to see you. You're the answer to long awaited prayer.  

As your birth has started to draw nearer and nearer, I've been thinking about the type of things I want to teach you.  The types of character traits that I hope you develop as you grow into the man God wants you to be.  I hope to teach you to be loving to others, to speak up in unjust situations, and to walk confidently into your dreams.  But the biggest lesson I hope to teach you, was placed on my heart a couple weeks ago.  We went to visit your Grandpa and Nana in Marianna.  During that visit, while we were at church, the song "It is well with my soul" played.  I've heard that song tons of times before, but this time the words stood out to me more than they had before.  

"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul"

This simple chorus is what I hope to teach you not only by my words, but in my daily choices as a living example to you.  Life gets complicated.  Its not always easy. Sometimes, bad things just happen. People can be cruel at times. But regardless of whatever situations or circumstances life brings your way, my greatest wish for you is that you'll be able to stand up and say "it is well, it is well with my soul"  to be able to rest and trust in the peace of knowing that God is sovereign and you are never alone.  Life brings constantly changing seasons. Some are filled with overwhelming joy, others hold periods of sorrow. Both hold memories and lessons you'll need.  Never let your situation define you, its only temporary. I hope you're able to find yourself grounded steadfast on faith and trust in God.  Your Daddy and I will always be there in the background, loving you and supporting you in all you do. I can't wait to see the things you'll accomplish or the places you'll go.  

I love you to the moon and back Jackson,

Mama

90 days to go!

     Wow, we've entered the double digits in the countdown to meeting our little boy! It feels so weird saying that I'm 7 months pregnant! Time seems to be flying by and with each passing day, the love I feel for this little life growing inside me gets stronger and the anticipation of holding him gets higher.   Josh is just about beside himself in wanting to hold Jackson, lol. He tells me that its not fair that I'm hogging up all the baby time right now, lol.  My response to him is typically "Believe me...I wish you could take a turn!" lol.

     While our excitement and thankfulness has remained high about the fact that I'm blessed to have the opportunity of being pregnant...pregnancy is nothing like I had anticipated.  Its been much more difficult than I ever had imagined.  During the 1st trimester, I spent 8 weeks unable to leave the house as I was sick with morning sickness 7-8 times a day, EVERYDAY. Until reaching a peak at 10 weeks pregnant in which I threw up 15 times, resulting in getting dehydrated. It was a very rough time.  However, at 12 1/2 weeks, the sickness tapered down to me throwing up every two weeks for two days at a time.  It was like clock work. So while I was still sick, I was able to function again and feel like a person.  That pattern continued until 20 weeks pregnant, when it changed from every two weeks, to me throwing up 1 day every single week.  This continued to 26 weeks pregnant, in which I caught a flu stomach bug (as if I hadn't been throwing up enough right?) Between throwing up and having a fever, I was a mess.  My doctor had called in a prescription for me to help stop the throwing up, but I still wasn't able to replace the fluids I had lost already.  So Josh took me to the hospital and they kept me overnight to monitor contractions since I was so dehydrated.  They hooked me up to a heart monitor to monitor Jackson and this ended up being a very nice distraction from how bad I was feeling.  Because Jackson began playing with the monitor.  It was hooked up on the outside of my stomach, but he began kicking and bouncing off of it. It was so funny to be able to feel him kick it, hear it through the monitor and then see it as the doppler bounced up and down every time he kicked it.  He did it for over an hour before I felt him settle and fall sleep.  He tends to sleep in the same position often. I know this from previous ultrasounds and he was always sleeping on his face with his little feet tucked under.  and also when he settles to sleep, he tends to curl up in a way that makes me a bit short of breath, lol.  I'm definately able to breathe easier when he is moving around. I love being able to see his little personality already as he has started to react to loud nosies (particularly our coon hound Lucy, lol) and started pushing back when Josh gently pushes my stomach. Without fail, I smile every time I feel him move. :-)

     After spending the night in the hospital, I was released to go home with instructions for rest and lots and lots of fluids until the virus ran its course.  My doctor told me I might get a few contractions, but that she wouldn't be worried unless I had too many close together.  Thankfully, I only ended up getting 2 contractions  (ow!) and that was it. So 6 days and 6 lbs lighter, I finally kicked the virus and felt better.  YAY!  Now that I'm in the last week of my 2nd trimester, I have no idea what the 3rd trimester is going to bring. I'm hoping its  a break from morning sickness, but based on how the past two trimesters have been...I doubt its likely.  But we'll see.

     Despite me having a difficult time being pregnant, I'm incredibly thrilled and grateful that Jackson has done wonderfully so far.  He's growing right on track and we haven't had any scares or reasons to worry about his health. My doctor has been very happy with my overall health and I've had no major complications as of yet.  So we have a lot to be thankful for. :-)

     After researching it, we decided that I'm not going to be using an epidural as a way of coping during the labor and delivery process.  I just couldn't feel comfortable with it even after taking a class at the hospital about it.  So I talked to Josh and we decided to investigate what other options I had in the form of pain management and laboring through a more natural process.  I believe that God designed my body with the ability to give birth, but I'm a big believer that preparation paired with instincts bring the best results, so I definitely wanted to do my best to be prepared.  After researching, we decided that we wanted to hire a doula to go to the hospital with us to help be a support during the labor and delivery process. From what we read, births that have the support of a doula tend to progress quicker, have less stress induced reactions, less interventions, and easier transitions learning/adjusting to breastfeeding. Which are all goals of mine.  Both Josh and I try to do least intervention possible when it comes to medicine (we seek out medical care, but we try to live a healthy lifestyle and make adjustments first instead of just popping a pill).  So since this is the 1st time that we're going down this road, we thought having the extra support of a doula would be a great idea.  So I found a lady that has been working as a doula for the past 5 years and even has 4 children of her own.  So she's pretty experienced in this area. We've set up to interview her in a week and I'm pretty excited about it.  I know that labor and delivery are not going to be easy for me to go through, and so I figure there can't be too many encouraging people around when I'm reaching a point of exhaustion.  Josh is excited to meet her as well since its just one more step closer to meeting our little boy.  :-)

Just 90 more days to go! :-)

this was me 3 weeks ago at 24 weeks pregnant.  

Its a.........BOY!!!

March 12th, Josh and I went to my doctor to find out the gender of our baby.  We invited my grandmother to come to the ultrasound with us. So she made the drive from Kissimmee to meet us at the doctor's office.  Seeing the baby up on the screen and hearing the heartbeat is always breath taking for me.  But this visit particularly overwhelmed me in a whole new way as we learned what our little bouncing baby was. :-)

We're going to have a little boy! His name is Jackson Steven Grace and we're both absolutely thrilled.  Its still so surreal that I'm about to be a Mama in just 4 months, and finding out we have a son has been the most exciting moment I've ever experienced.

Here is the Gender Reveal Video that we made to break the news to Josh's family.  :-) Still makes me cry every time I watch it. :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip6Y2iQqMRo&feature=youtube_gdata