And the X-rays say....time to walk! :-)

Yesterday was my long awaited doctor's visit. My X-ray's showed that both my bones are healing very well.  My surgeon was very pleased and then spoke the most delightful words "You can try standing and walking now and no longer have to sleep with the boot on"  There were such relief and happiness in those words for me.  Sleeping has been very difficult wearing the boot to bed since its rather heavy. It causes pressure on my back and hips when sleeping, so I was incredibly relieved to know that I was now allowed to remove the boot before bed.  I was so eager to try standing that I didn't feel nervous like I had imagined. It also really didn't hurt to stand either, which surprised me greatly.  Everything mostly feels sore but not bad at all. After everything that has happened, I really believe that its changed the way I rate pain. I feel like anything from this point, won't even come close to what it was like previously. Its not even a blip on the radar.

The doctor told me to put a bit of weight on my ankle and to practice walking with the crutches and walker to ease me back into gaining balance again.  Then after two days, try walking with no crutches or walker with the boot on.  Then do that for two days or so. Then he said that I can try walking short distances at home with the boot off.  I was very surprised at how quickly the process would go, but excited for my independence to come back.   The doctor wants me to do physical therapy 2-3 times a week for a month minimum and then go back and see him again for a check up.  I'm planning on swimming on the weekends to help gain more strength in my ankle and to lose some weight. I'm so excited about getting healthy and feeling better! :-)

I do know its going to take a bit of time before the swelling in my ankle goes away completely. After an afternoon of walking and stretching my ankle, the swelling increased significantly and was pretty scary.  Josh was in our office studying for an exam and I was watching a movie. I looked over at my ankle and realized that I had a baseball size lump on the left side of my ankle.  OH.MY.GOD! It scared me so much. Josh came out of the office to see me crying and absolutely terrified. He calmed me down and had me wiggle my toes and he pressed lightly on different parts of my ankle. I didn't have any pain and so he said it was ok.  That the swelling had increased so much because I hadn't stood on my ankle for 9 weeks so it would take time for it to get used to it.  Logically, I understood that.  Mentally, emotionally, and physically, I was feeling all the same panic feelings that I felt when I was hurt and on the ground alone in my backyard 9 weeks ago. It was terrifying. In my mind, I even heard the loud snapping noise. Its so crazy how the brain catalogs trauma and connects it together.   I'm just so thankful I have a calm and loving husband who hands me tissues and hugs me until I'm calmed down.  Don't know what I'd do without Josh. He really is the perfect person for me and I admire him greatly :-)

The past couple weeks have been fairly nice for us.  A Disney trip, visits with a few old college roommates, and one night my grandmother came over and cooked us a delicious dinner. Even brought an ice cream cake for dessert, which of course was Josh's favorite part of the meal. :-)  My dear husband and his sweet tooth, lol. Its really been so nice feeling well enough to have company over again.

I'm really looking forward to this coming week, as each day my ankle will gain strength and my day will gain a bit more normalcy.  Plus I get to have a change of scenery as we'll be driving up to Marianna for a weekend trip. I'm excited to meet my new niece Julia and see everyone. The whole family will be together to attend Julia's baby dedication. It will be so nice to get to spend time with and enjoy everyone.  And I've even made an appointment to get my hair trimmed and colored. Betty is going to go with me to the salon, so we'll get girl time/chat in while Josh spends time with Jay. Can't wait!

 I haven't colored my hair in years and its looked pretty much the same for the past 8 years.  Thankfully I still haven't found any grey hairs yet (not sure when that starts) but I decided that coloring it would be a fun way to try a change. And I finally found a hair style idea that Josh liked. He has always said he liked my hair just the way it is. But I finally found something he thought would be fun to try.  Maybe once its done I will be able to figure out how to post pictures in my blog posts and put up one of my new look. We'll see how it goes.  It's going to be such a good week and weekend.  :-)

Waiting, waiting, and needing to acquire patience

So it's been 7 weeks since my accident and 6 weeks since my surgery.  I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment March 6th to determine if I was allowed to stand again. The day before my appointment I was called by my surgeons office explaining that my surgeon had had an emergency and would be out of the office all week. So my appointment was reset for March 15th and I was instructed to remain in the wheelchair per doctor's orders until my appointment to have the next set of x-rays.  I was incredibly disappointed and very upset at the news.  I have been going out of my mind being stuck inside the house and unable to do very much.  So the news was hard to take.  I called Josh to tell him that he wouldn't have to take time off work to take me to the appointment since it was canceled. He was disappointed at the news as well since it sets us back in several areas.  But we couldn't do anything about it.

A couple hours later, my sweet husband called me to tell me that he was actually going to still take the afternoon off and he was going to whisk (actually wheel) me away to Disney World to cheer me up and get me out of the house.  I was very excited and decided that Epcot would be fun to go to since the Flower Garden Festival was going. The weather was absolutely perfect, in the low 70's and sunny outside. In the shade, the breeze was even chilly.  So it was perfect to be outside.  The afternoon was wonderful and very needed.  Since my accident, Josh and I hadn't had a date or done anything fun together. Spending the afternoon flirting with my husband as we went through all the countries in Epcot made me feel a bit back to normal and though I was exhausted afterwards, I felt so refreshed.  I'm so lucky to be married to someone who takes care of me so well.  :-)

In other family news, a couple of weeks after I was hurt,  my new little niece Julia Grace Flowers was born. :-)  We weren't able to go up and see her right away, but we are planning to travel up to see her dedication March 25th.  I can't wait to finally meet her! From her pictures, she looks completely different than my nephew Carson did when he was born.  She is definately a little princess and my sister-in-law dresses her up with little bows.  Its adorable. :-)  Christmas this year will be so much fun with two little ones in the family.

One of the things I've learned through this waiting period, is that patience is not easily gained.  I've always known I'm not a patient person (I generally end up giving Josh is birthday gift early cause I just can't wait, lol) but I've learned there are varying degrees of patience.  My mother-in-law recently told me about a lady she knows that had her home burn down, losing all her things, including her dog. She was trying to encourage me that things can always be worse and that this time would eventually pass for me whereas for others, there are some things that will not pass.  I try to live my life with a thankful attitude, but I've learned that being thankful simply isn't always enough.  The ability to endure and lean on patience is what gets you through a hard situation.  Throughout this experience, I haven't lived up to my name and acted with grace always.  Its been a difficult, frustrating, painful, and discouraging time for me.  I've relied heavily on the blessings God has surrounded me with. The smile of my husband, the strength of Josh's nearby hand to steady me before I fall as I hop to reach something, the "sanity gifts" and surprise packages in the mail from Jay and Betty, and God's provision over our finances and insurance. These things remind me daily that I am cared about and watched over. Its an amazing comfort when independence and self sufficiency are temporarily removed. But they are humbling as well, as they serve as reminders that I have many reasons to act with grace- even in the tough times.  And its something I am striving to do better this year.  I guess its a late "new years resolution" but better late than never, right? :-)