The past 7 weeks

The past 7 weeks have a sleepy blur of bliss. I'm enjoying the cuddles and snuggles of the newborn phase. Even the waking up during the night hasn't been awful. I'm definitely tired, but every time I'm woken up by the needs of my sweet little boy, I remind myself to be thankful. Thankful he's healthy. Thankful he is growing. Thankful I get the opportunity to be a mother.  And feelings of being tired melt away as I remember my little man won't always need me this way. This precious time is such a short season and so this mindset has made even the 2am feedings special to me.

So far, at home Jackson isn't really a crier.  He fusses when he gets hungry and thats about it. He is a major cuddler and wants to be held all the time. I don't mind one bit. It'll be soon enough that my sweet boy will be running and jumping around. So I'm soaking up this sweet phase of snuggles.  However, we've learned that Little Man does NOT like to be in the car seat with a dirty diaper. And somehow within 5-10 mins of us being in the car- a dirty diaper always seems to happen. lol. He will scream rather passionately until we pull over so I can change him. Once in a fresh diaper- my sweet Little Man appears again and is as happy as can be for the rest of the car ride. lol.  He isn't a fan of the doctor either. He definitely knows the difference between Josh and I and the doctor. He'll start fussing before she even gets to examine him, but then the second he's back in Josh or I's arms- he stops fussing. Its been really neat to see how fast the bond a baby has for his parents develops. Jackson identifies us as comfort and anytime Josh speaks- Jackson will look around for him. He'll even wake up if he hears Josh's voice. (So Josh has gotten good at whispering when he gets home late, lol).  Last Thursday night, Josh has a grad class. So he didn't get home until close to 11pm. Jackson had been nursing and was falling asleep until he heard Josh's voice when he walked in the door. Then he was wide awake and looking for Josh. It was adorable. Watching Josh cuddle and talk to our son is my favorite part of the day. Its a completely different element to marriage, watching your spouse be a parent. Those moments melt my heart.

I've also been really surprised at how fast recovery from labor and delivery is. 7 days after delivery I'd lost 27 lbs (making me 7 lbs lighter than pre-pregnancy!) and wasn't sore anymore. Pretty much since pushing him out, I've felt great. Morning sickness is finally over and I feel like a real person again.  Pregnancy was pretty hard for me, so its been really nice to finally have an easier phase. I've got energy again and am even getting more sleep now with a newborn than I did when I was pregnant. During the pregnancy I threw up so much and so often that I was pretty much in a constant state of feeling bad. So its been really wonderful to feel good again. I was shocked about the weight loss that 1st week but super thankful for it.  Since I've lost all my pregnancy weight already, I can focus on dropping weight I had gained when I broke my ankle last year. I had been so afraid that I'd end up tacking on a ton of pregnancy weight to weight I'd gained with my injury and that it'd take me forever to lose it. But thankfully that hasn't been the case. Looking forward to trying and fitting exercise into my day again.

In other news, Josh officially received his credentials to be a minister with the Assemblies of God churches.  So the transition of Josh becoming the lead pastor for our church officially is just about to happen. Our church members and board all voted yes :-)  so just waiting on the district officials to set the date for the ceremony.  Its an exciting time and we are so thankful to get the chance to come along side such great people as we grow and do life together.  Its such a wonderful opportunity.

Life's crazy busy, but the good kind of busy. So thankful for this new sweet chapter as we are walking into parenthood and leading a church.  Its a growing and stretching season, but filled with such joy.

My heart is full.

                                                      My last picture pregnant : 41 weeks

                                      Born August 11th 2013 1:54pm  10lbs even 22 1/2 inches

                                                                         Full hands

                                           16 days old, wearing 3 month old clothes. My little man.

                                                                        Daddy cuddle time

                             This is the look I get when I put him down, lol. He prefers to be held.

                                                                      Little Ham

                                                                           Happy

                                                    1st smile caught on camera (3 weeks old)

                                               

" She decided to start living the life she had imagined"

I'm a Mama.

3 little words that hold such incredible significance and have forever changed me. Its so overwhelmingly surreal.

Little man was due to arrive August 1st, but didn't show up until August 11th. So at 41 weeks 3 days, he finally made his appearance. Labor was harder than I had ever imagined. It was discovered during my labor that Jackson was in the posterior position. He was head down, but face up. Making labor a hard and slow process since he was hitting my pelvic bone instead of slipping down under it. Thankfully, I had an amazing support team with me.  My doctor worked hard with us to help get him born safely (with NO c-section, thank God!) Josh was quite literally my pillar of strength when I just didn't think I could go on. Betty, my mother in law, brought such love and security to me when all I could do was cry from exhaustion. And Michelle, our doula, brought support and techniques to help me through the contractions and back labor that I would have been lost without. She empowered both Josh and Betty to help me in ways I hadn't anticipated needing. It was this team that helped keep me going as I worked hard to meet my son.

Sunday, August 11th at 1:54pm, after 43 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing, Jackson Steven Grace was born. Weighing 10 lbs even, and 22 1/2 inches long and completely capturing my heart. With one last push, he was suddenly here and time stood still. I was crying, Josh was crying, and Betty was crying. It was the most magical moment of my entire life. I've never before felt so strong, so feminine, so close to my husband, or so in awe of God's design. It was the most intense experience I've ever had and equally the most amazing. I'm so incredibly thankful to have had the chance to experience it and to hold a happy, healthy baby boy in my arms. I look down at him and see parts of both Josh and I and I fall in love with my husband all over again. We created a little life together and now we get the opportunity to watch him grow. Words don't do justice how amazing that is.

I saw the quote "she decided to start living the life she had imagined" some time ago and it stuck with me. I believe that God puts desires on your heart for a reason and equips you with the ability to chase after those dreams. That is how Josh and I strive to live our life. To be always enjoying today as we move towards our goals. To not wait for things to simply happen, but to live each day finding the joy in it. Its hard work and keeps our days full, but the reward is rich. We are content. We are happy. We are living the life we had imagined.

Almost there

This week I'm 38 weeks pregnant! I can't believe how fast the past 9 months have gone. As rough as some moments have been, the pregnancy really has flown by so fast and I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to experience it. Growing a little life has been harder than I had imagined, but at the same time so wonderfully amazing. Every time I see Jackson shake my belly or feel a quick kick or slow roll, it never fails to make me smile. Its so amazing how intricate the whole process is and how God designed my body to know exactly what to do.  It really is amazing.

I've got 2 weeks left until my due date, but we've reached the milestone of being "full term." Meaning Jackson could decide to come at any point now and be safe and healthy.  My doctor has told me its just a waiting game at this point. He could come tomorrow, or wait until 41 weeks.  We'll just wait and see.  Both Josh and I are ready to finally meet this little boy we've been falling in love with these past 9 months.

Aside from extreme morning sickness that I've dealt with the entire pregnancy (even still), I've been incredibly blessed that we haven't encountered a single complication throughout these 9 months.  Both Jackson and I have been super healthy and I'm so thankful for that.  Somehow, despite not keeping much food down, my body has still managed to gain a healthy weight. I've gained 17 lbs total so far and my blood pressure has been amazing the whole time.  The pregnancy cravings that I've encountered over the past few months have been : Celery, apples, pickles (this was a big one- ate like a jar a week), grapefruit, and orange juice.  Not sure if water really counts as a "craving" but I can never seem to have enough water near me, lol.  Which even shows in the food that I have craved- with throwing up so much I've battled dehydration a couple times. And so it even showed in the foods that my body wanted- celery is mostly water, pickles balance out your electrolytes, grapefruit has high water content and folic acid. So its been interesting to see my body crave exactly what it needed to keep both me and Jackson healthy.  Josh and I were both pretty healthy eaters prior to pregnancy, but since getting pregnant- that upped even higher for me. My body just didn't want a whole lot of junk.  So its been super easy to primarily stick to foods that were healthy for me.  

We're almost done with the nursery decorations. It's taken us while to have time to paint the walls since we had to wait for Josh to get a break with grad classes.  But its coming along so well. We're doing a Dr. Seuss theme and I love it.  I know its silly since babies don't care about decorations and Jackson won't even sleep in his own room until about 4 months old, but it sure is fun for the parents to set up the nursery.  Just walking in the room makes me smile. Its adorable. 

As strange as it may sound, as of right now, neither myself or Josh have any nervousness or anxiety about the upcoming birth. I mostly just feel ready.  We've done a lot to prepare while still having a flexible mindset.  We're both definitely planners and pretty hands on when it comes to our medical care, but at the end of the day- birth is unpredictable. Never know exactly how it'll go until you're there. So we both have a solid understanding of the options available and what might happen in a true emergency situation.  But mostly, we both just feel ready. Josh is crazy excited about every part of pregnancy and birth. He is impressed with  how dramatically a women's body changes so quickly to care for a little life and he is ecstatic about getting to hold Jackson soon.  I'm very ready for Jackson to be in my arms soon, as well as have morning sickness finally be over.  And be able to breathe again, lol. Right now, Jackson is taking up a good deal of space which makes its near impossible to take a full breath at once.  But I'm pretty sure the fact that labor will mean the end of morning sickness is going to be huge motivation for me during the moments I'm exhausted.  So now we just wait and see what day this little man picks to be his birthday. :-)  

Love, Mama

My little Jackson,  

You've been growing like crazy over the past month. With each passing day, I feel you move around with more strength. Your kicks and flips shake my belly quite visibly and often even wake me from sleeping.  It never fails to bring a smile to my face and a spirit of thankfulness to my heart as with each flip and kick, I'm reassured you're doing great and growing just as you should.  We've got just 9 more weeks to go, and your Daddy is just beside himself with excitement to meet you.  You're so special to him already, my sweet boy.  He can't wait to find out what types of things you'll like to do and the interests you'll have.  We know already that you certainly like your sleep.  Any time we've had an ultrasound to see how you're growing, its taken quite a bit of effort to wake you up.  You sleep on your stomach with your little feet tucked under and refuse to budge until you're ready.  I've been awed each time we've gotten to see you. You're the answer to long awaited prayer.  

As your birth has started to draw nearer and nearer, I've been thinking about the type of things I want to teach you.  The types of character traits that I hope you develop as you grow into the man God wants you to be.  I hope to teach you to be loving to others, to speak up in unjust situations, and to walk confidently into your dreams.  But the biggest lesson I hope to teach you, was placed on my heart a couple weeks ago.  We went to visit your Grandpa and Nana in Marianna.  During that visit, while we were at church, the song "It is well with my soul" played.  I've heard that song tons of times before, but this time the words stood out to me more than they had before.  

"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul"

This simple chorus is what I hope to teach you not only by my words, but in my daily choices as a living example to you.  Life gets complicated.  Its not always easy. Sometimes, bad things just happen. People can be cruel at times. But regardless of whatever situations or circumstances life brings your way, my greatest wish for you is that you'll be able to stand up and say "it is well, it is well with my soul"  to be able to rest and trust in the peace of knowing that God is sovereign and you are never alone.  Life brings constantly changing seasons. Some are filled with overwhelming joy, others hold periods of sorrow. Both hold memories and lessons you'll need.  Never let your situation define you, its only temporary. I hope you're able to find yourself grounded steadfast on faith and trust in God.  Your Daddy and I will always be there in the background, loving you and supporting you in all you do. I can't wait to see the things you'll accomplish or the places you'll go.  

I love you to the moon and back Jackson,

Mama

90 days to go!

     Wow, we've entered the double digits in the countdown to meeting our little boy! It feels so weird saying that I'm 7 months pregnant! Time seems to be flying by and with each passing day, the love I feel for this little life growing inside me gets stronger and the anticipation of holding him gets higher.   Josh is just about beside himself in wanting to hold Jackson, lol. He tells me that its not fair that I'm hogging up all the baby time right now, lol.  My response to him is typically "Believe me...I wish you could take a turn!" lol.

     While our excitement and thankfulness has remained high about the fact that I'm blessed to have the opportunity of being pregnant...pregnancy is nothing like I had anticipated.  Its been much more difficult than I ever had imagined.  During the 1st trimester, I spent 8 weeks unable to leave the house as I was sick with morning sickness 7-8 times a day, EVERYDAY. Until reaching a peak at 10 weeks pregnant in which I threw up 15 times, resulting in getting dehydrated. It was a very rough time.  However, at 12 1/2 weeks, the sickness tapered down to me throwing up every two weeks for two days at a time.  It was like clock work. So while I was still sick, I was able to function again and feel like a person.  That pattern continued until 20 weeks pregnant, when it changed from every two weeks, to me throwing up 1 day every single week.  This continued to 26 weeks pregnant, in which I caught a flu stomach bug (as if I hadn't been throwing up enough right?) Between throwing up and having a fever, I was a mess.  My doctor had called in a prescription for me to help stop the throwing up, but I still wasn't able to replace the fluids I had lost already.  So Josh took me to the hospital and they kept me overnight to monitor contractions since I was so dehydrated.  They hooked me up to a heart monitor to monitor Jackson and this ended up being a very nice distraction from how bad I was feeling.  Because Jackson began playing with the monitor.  It was hooked up on the outside of my stomach, but he began kicking and bouncing off of it. It was so funny to be able to feel him kick it, hear it through the monitor and then see it as the doppler bounced up and down every time he kicked it.  He did it for over an hour before I felt him settle and fall sleep.  He tends to sleep in the same position often. I know this from previous ultrasounds and he was always sleeping on his face with his little feet tucked under.  and also when he settles to sleep, he tends to curl up in a way that makes me a bit short of breath, lol.  I'm definately able to breathe easier when he is moving around. I love being able to see his little personality already as he has started to react to loud nosies (particularly our coon hound Lucy, lol) and started pushing back when Josh gently pushes my stomach. Without fail, I smile every time I feel him move. :-)

     After spending the night in the hospital, I was released to go home with instructions for rest and lots and lots of fluids until the virus ran its course.  My doctor told me I might get a few contractions, but that she wouldn't be worried unless I had too many close together.  Thankfully, I only ended up getting 2 contractions  (ow!) and that was it. So 6 days and 6 lbs lighter, I finally kicked the virus and felt better.  YAY!  Now that I'm in the last week of my 2nd trimester, I have no idea what the 3rd trimester is going to bring. I'm hoping its  a break from morning sickness, but based on how the past two trimesters have been...I doubt its likely.  But we'll see.

     Despite me having a difficult time being pregnant, I'm incredibly thrilled and grateful that Jackson has done wonderfully so far.  He's growing right on track and we haven't had any scares or reasons to worry about his health. My doctor has been very happy with my overall health and I've had no major complications as of yet.  So we have a lot to be thankful for. :-)

     After researching it, we decided that I'm not going to be using an epidural as a way of coping during the labor and delivery process.  I just couldn't feel comfortable with it even after taking a class at the hospital about it.  So I talked to Josh and we decided to investigate what other options I had in the form of pain management and laboring through a more natural process.  I believe that God designed my body with the ability to give birth, but I'm a big believer that preparation paired with instincts bring the best results, so I definitely wanted to do my best to be prepared.  After researching, we decided that we wanted to hire a doula to go to the hospital with us to help be a support during the labor and delivery process. From what we read, births that have the support of a doula tend to progress quicker, have less stress induced reactions, less interventions, and easier transitions learning/adjusting to breastfeeding. Which are all goals of mine.  Both Josh and I try to do least intervention possible when it comes to medicine (we seek out medical care, but we try to live a healthy lifestyle and make adjustments first instead of just popping a pill).  So since this is the 1st time that we're going down this road, we thought having the extra support of a doula would be a great idea.  So I found a lady that has been working as a doula for the past 5 years and even has 4 children of her own.  So she's pretty experienced in this area. We've set up to interview her in a week and I'm pretty excited about it.  I know that labor and delivery are not going to be easy for me to go through, and so I figure there can't be too many encouraging people around when I'm reaching a point of exhaustion.  Josh is excited to meet her as well since its just one more step closer to meeting our little boy.  :-)

Just 90 more days to go! :-)

this was me 3 weeks ago at 24 weeks pregnant.  

Its a.........BOY!!!

March 12th, Josh and I went to my doctor to find out the gender of our baby.  We invited my grandmother to come to the ultrasound with us. So she made the drive from Kissimmee to meet us at the doctor's office.  Seeing the baby up on the screen and hearing the heartbeat is always breath taking for me.  But this visit particularly overwhelmed me in a whole new way as we learned what our little bouncing baby was. :-)

We're going to have a little boy! His name is Jackson Steven Grace and we're both absolutely thrilled.  Its still so surreal that I'm about to be a Mama in just 4 months, and finding out we have a son has been the most exciting moment I've ever experienced.

Here is the Gender Reveal Video that we made to break the news to Josh's family.  :-) Still makes me cry every time I watch it. :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip6Y2iQqMRo&feature=youtube_gdata

A soon-to-be Father's thoughts

I always thought the most significant words in my life would start with, "Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to join this man and this woman. . ." While that was a close estimate, I have found one moment to top it. When Ashley and I went in for our first ultrasound, I had no idea what to expect. I knew it would be a significant moment, but I had no idea how much of an impact it would have on me. Seeing the child for the first time was amazing. Little Grace Grace suddenly had a face, hands, fingers, toes, and spine. It was amazing! Then the heart beat. . . oh the heartbeat! No words can explain that feeling. Much like that moment when I saw my wife walking down the isle in her wedding gown, the intensity of this feeling seeing our first child was indeed leaving me speechless. In fact, I am even sitting here tearing up about it now! Powerful!
Marriage has been the absolute best adjustment in my life to this point. Learning to be an excellent and caring husband who provides for Ashley physically, emotionally, and spiritually required way more than I thought. It has stretched me in ways I never thought, and made me more into a man that I ever thought. Now, however, I find myself standing in the middle of yet another transition. A significant one. This is my moment to step up to be a father! Our little Grace Grace will not just have a face, hands, fingers, toes, and a spine; Grace Grace will have a name (just 12 days until we find out!). My heart is so full of emotion, and my mind is so full of questions. What kind of father will I be? How will I learn to take care of a baby?
In these months of preparation, I am finding myself reflecting on these types of questions in preparation of Grace Grace's arrival. My wife has taken care of several newborns over the years while she was a nanny in high school and college, so is pretty familiar with what goes into caring for an infant. While I held a baby for the 1st time 2 years ago when our awesome little nephew was born. So we've had conversations about what to do when the baby is sick, a location in the kitchen of a "Do not eat" foods list for when our little Grace-Grace eventually eats real foods, and how we are going to prepare the house for the triumphant entry (My wife is fantastic organizing this stuff)! Much like our house preparations, I am also preparing my mind and heart (as much as one can before having a child). I find myself reflecting on my childhood and the good examples set by my mom and dad in how they raised me.
My heart and life is so full of joy, and I can't wait to see what happens after our baby has arrived!
-Josh

playing catch up and growing a baby bump :-)

     Whew! The past few weeks since morning sickness  (FINALLY) let up, I've been playing a crazy game of "catch up." Unfortunately, during the 9 weeks that I was out of commission, real life did not pause. So I've had tons to do, events to schedule, and people to catch up with.  But thankfully the magic of the 2nd trimester has blessed me with more energy lately, making all these tasks much easier to accomplish.  :-)

     About a month before we found out we were pregnant, Josh was approached from a professor of his,
with an opportunity to come on staff as pastor of a church here in Lakeland.  After getting to know the heart of the church and the focus the people have towards missions and meeting needs in the community, we were both super excited and thankful to get the chance to come along side them.  Josh has continued working at SEU and taking his grad classes, so with the addition of the church responsibilities, his plate became much more full.  But after sitting down and mapping out a plan for his week to week, over the past few months everything has meshed really well together.  Coping with morning sickness so soon after becoming apart of Genesis Church, left me a bit disappointed as I had to miss out on events and even attending services the first couple of months. But now that I'm feeling better and am out and about again, I've been excited to get the chance to connect with the people there and begin to get involved.  We're planning on starting a couple's ministry in March that I'm thrilled about and can't wait to get more things started over the next few months.  Its going to be a great year.  :-)

    Over the weekend, Josh and I finally got to have our Valentines Day date. The plan had been to go out for lunch and then make our way to Picasso's cup to paint pottery. But once we got there, we found that there was a birthday party being hosted and so the studio was crawling with kids and the walls were lined with supervising parents shouting above the noise in order to have a conversation.  So since it was so busy, we decided to walk next door and go see a movie instead. During the movie, I started to feel fluttering in my belly. I knew right away what it was since this was the 2nd time I'd felt the baby moving around.  But to my surprise, when I put my hand on my stomach, I could feel the little kicks on the outside too! So I told Josh and he quickly put his hand on my stomach. When I saw the big smile spread across his face, I could tell that he could feel the baby moving around too.  The baby kicked for about a minute or two before we couldn't feel it anymore.  It was such a surprise since  that day I was only 16 weeks, 2 days pregnant. My doctor had told me just a couple days before at my check up that it all depended on where the baby had implanted as to when I would start to feel him/her a lot and how soon that Josh would get to feel kicks as well. She had told us she'd had women as early as 14 weeks start to feel the baby and some not until week 20. But with a large majority somewhere around 18 weeks.  So I was super surprised that the baby had kicked hard enough for me to feel it on the outside of my stomach.  But it was such a fun moment.  It was the perfect addition to our Valentine's Date. :-)

     The upside to how busy we've been, is that its made time fly by.  I'm now 17 weeks pregnant! Which means that we only have 3 more weeks until we find out if we'll be having a little Jackson  or a little Nora.  Both Josh and I think the baby's a girl. For some reason, I've thought that all along. I can't wait to buy huge flower head bands, pink, pink, and more pink.  But at the same time, if we end up having a boy, we'll both be super thrilled with that as well. Josh and his Dad have started the "Annual Grace men camping trips" and Josh has already started talking about being able to take our son along on the camping trips, if we end up having a boy.  So I guess either way, we're both going to be super thrilled. :-) All I know is that our ultrasound on March 12th can't come soon enough! :-)

                                  16 weeks pregnant, gained 5lbs so far and feeling huge!

                                                                                           16 weeks, 2 days pregnant and all set for our Valentine's Day Date   2/16/13- Josh felt the baby for the 1st time :-)

Love, Mama

Our sweet little Grace-Grace (as your Daddy currently calls you),

    We've known about you for 14 weeks, but dreamed about and planned for you for a few years now. Your Daddy is the happiest I've ever seen him and so excited about you. You and I have had a rough couple of months so far, but thankfully you're giving your Mama a break from the food strike you were on and its making the days much easier. A few weeks ago we saw you for the first time. I was covered in instant tears as I watched you flip this way and that way. You even waved to us and we watched as you figured out how to flex your fingers. I wasn't prepared for the overwhelming emotion that filled me while we watched you on the ultrasound screen.  Your Daddy even teared up as we listened to your strong heatbeat thumping away. 
      Since seeing you, its awakened dreams in me that have filled me with such excitement.  I think about you growing up, what your personality will be like. What things will touch your heart, what interests you may have, what direction God may take you. And I'm filled with a sense of awe and thankfullness that I get to be apart of your little life and watch it all unfold.  Life is messy and its not always fair.  But your Daddy and I will always be your biggest cheerleaders through the ups and the downs that come. You're lucky little one, you're coming into a world filled with voices that will always speak life into you. Your Nana and Aunt Salena are so eager to meet you that they are planning a special trip to see your birth. Your Grandpa carries your sonogram picture around with him on his phone to show people. Your great grandparents Schwartz and your Great Grandma Sydor are already praying for you and are so excited about you.  You're coming into a family that loves you so much already. 
         We've got awhile before we meet you Little One, but we're so thankful for your health and all the growing  you're doing. You're our long awaited little gift. And I can't wait to see the part you'll play in our family and person that you'll become. 

I love you to the moon and back little Grace-Grace, 
Mama

Our Growing Grace

                                                        First picture! 11 weeks, 4 days


Today we went to the doctor and saw our baby for the 1st time! I wasn't prepared for the overwhelming emotion that hit me as soon as the baby popped up on the screen. It was instant tears as I saw the little nose and lips, fingers, and toe's. The baby was waving its hand the whole time during the ultrasound and then starting flexing its fingers. It was so crazy to watch the baby react to what I did, like when I laughed or coughed, the baby would flip over. lol. Its still so small so while we watched it flip over and wave its hands, I didn't feel a thing. Josh even teared up in seeing our child for the 1st time. It was like nothing else I've ever experienced.

The past 6 weeks have been incredibly difficult.  At 5 weeks pregnant, I developed morning sickness symptoms and have still yet to understand the term "morning sickness." Its more like "all day and all night sickness." Everyday the past 6 weeks I've thrown up 6-7 times daily. With the exception of 1 day when it escalated to 15 times resulting in me getting dehydrated. My doctor prescribed me some medication when that happened in order for me to be able to keep some liquids down, and so I took it for a couple days in order to give my body a break and give some fluids back in me.  I'm not super comfortable with the idea of taking medication for morning sickness because I'm not thrilled with how morning sickness meds are regulated. They aren't really studied very much, so generally come with the label "unknown risks" since they are a category C medication. So Josh and I opted to save them for when I was got too close to dehydration again, since getting dehydrated is dangerous for the baby as well.  So amazingly enough, getting sick 7 times a day, I've still managed to keep liquids in me simply because I have to double up what I'm drinking.  Its been hard though because I've been mostly a shut in the past 6 weeks since I'm sick throughout the whole day.  Even going to the doctor was hard because I almost was sick on the drive home. One day I was feeling a little better, and decided to make a trip to the grocery store. That was the wrong errand for me to pick. It was a mix of extreme smells all swirled together ending with me being at the check out counter behind a guy that had a roast chicken...I almost lost it. I've tried everything to help and NOTHING works.  Sea bands, crackers, ginger, vitamin B6, peppermints, popsicles, etc....nothing really helps. The baby even wakes me up in the middle of the night to get sick. I've found that so far, our little bundle of joy does not like to me sleep or eat...EVER. lol.  Josh has had a difficult time as well since I can't really eat much besides cereal...neither can he because most of the time I can't handle the smell of food cooking.  lol. So my poor husband is also on the "baby diet" as he calls it. lol.

Amazingly enough, despite being so sick, my belly wasted no time in sticking out.   At 8 weeks my jeans no longer fit and most of my shirts became snug.  Having not gained a single pound, I was surprised at how fast my body began to change. Now at almost 12 weeks, the only pants that fit are my sweat pants and either a stretchy tank top (which shows my rounded belly) or lately I've worn one of Josh's t-shirts since they are big on me making it more comfortable than anything I have.   A friend gave me 4 bags of maternity clothes to sort through, but I've found most of them are still too large for me to wear. So I'm in the "inbetween" phase.  I did buy 1 maternity shirt that was a bit smaller and so I'm able to wear that out when I need to look a bit more presentable than my husbands t-shirt, lol.  As soon as the nausea lifts, I'm planning a shopping trip to get some new things that fit me. I just haven't been able to handle a trip yet but hopefully in the next two weeks my stomach will settle some (*crossing my fingers*) since I'll be entering the 2nd trimester.

As rough and uncomfortable its been so far, seeing the baby made every tough moment completely worth it. In that moment of seeing the little growing life inside my belly, every ache and sickness, didn't even matter. All that I cared about was that the baby was healthy and growing. I'm beyond grateful at the chance to experience pregnancy and the opportunity to become a mother. I'm thrilled to see Josh so elated and to have such a wonderful partner stand beside me as we venture down this new path.  My heart is overwhelmingly full.