I always thought the most significant words in my life would start with, "Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to join this man and this woman. . ." While that was a close estimate, I have found one moment to top it. When Ashley and I went in for our first ultrasound, I had no idea what to expect. I knew it would be a significant moment, but I had no idea how much of an impact it would have on me. Seeing the child for the first time was amazing. Little Grace Grace suddenly had a face, hands, fingers, toes, and spine. It was amazing! Then the heart beat. . . oh the heartbeat! No words can explain that feeling. Much like that moment when I saw my wife walking down the isle in her wedding gown, the intensity of this feeling seeing our first child was indeed leaving me speechless. In fact, I am even sitting here tearing up about it now! Powerful!
Marriage has been the absolute best adjustment in my life to this point. Learning to be an excellent and caring husband who provides for Ashley physically, emotionally, and spiritually required way more than I thought. It has stretched me in ways I never thought, and made me more into a man that I ever thought. Now, however, I find myself standing in the middle of yet another transition. A significant one. This is my moment to step up to be a father! Our little Grace Grace will not just have a face, hands, fingers, toes, and a spine; Grace Grace will have a name (just 12 days until we find out!). My heart is so full of emotion, and my mind is so full of questions. What kind of father will I be? How will I learn to take care of a baby?
In these months of preparation, I am finding myself reflecting on these types of questions in preparation of Grace Grace's arrival. My wife has taken care of several newborns over the years while she was a nanny in high school and college, so is pretty familiar with what goes into caring for an infant. While I held a baby for the 1st time 2 years ago when our awesome little nephew was born. So we've had conversations about what to do when the baby is sick, a location in the kitchen of a "Do not eat" foods list for when our little Grace-Grace eventually eats real foods, and how we are going to prepare the house for the triumphant entry (My wife is fantastic organizing this stuff)! Much like our house preparations, I am also preparing my mind and heart (as much as one can before having a child). I find myself reflecting on my childhood and the good examples set by my mom and dad in how they raised me.
My heart and life is so full of joy, and I can't wait to see what happens after our baby has arrived!
-Josh
