Nap Time

Jackson is 14 months old, so he still takes 2 two hour naps a day. My little monkey is an avid climber and constantly curious about the world around him, so he is very ready for sleep come nap time.  

Since weaning him, occasionally I miss those sweet, still moments that nursing brought. Those moments where I'm simply sitting or rocking my baby boy while he snuggles close and nurses.  Now that he is past the phase of nursing, life has changed dramatically as I see less and less of my baby boy, and more and more of an adorable active toddler.  I love the new discoveries that accompany each day for him. He's such a little sponge and so quick to investigate all things new.  But those moments where I'm NOT multi-tasking, planning dinner, running errands, cleaning the house, or working on church work, while simultaneously playing and caring for my little man are fewer and farther apart. 

That is, until nap time. 

Josh and I have never practiced a "self soothing" method of parenting with Jackson. I've never understood that idea well. Because, whenever I, myself are upset about something or have had a bad day, I do not self soothe. I talk about it with Josh or get on the phone with my mother-in-law. I'm 27 and still find myself reaching for people I love when needing comforting.  So teaching my infant to self soothe never seemed to make much sense to me.  So our nap time routine with Jackson has never been the typical "lay the baby down awake." Jackson is a passionate child. That would never fly with him. lol.  Instead, when nap time arrives, I take him to his room and turn on his rain noise maker and projector light that casts shapes and characters on his ceiling. I lay down with him in his twin bed and we watch the shapes float and change across the ceiling.  He snuggles close to me as he twirls my hair, sucks his pacifier, and I watch his eyes begin to close.  In the space of 10 minutes, my little man is soundly sleeping. I watch his little chest rise slower and quieter as his breathing adjusts to deep sleep. His little eyes begin to flutter as dreams fill his head. His sweet little hand that held an iron like grip on my hair as he twirled it, loosens and lets go.  I look at my little man and I don't see the independent active toddler anymore. I see my baby boy that needed his mama to snuggle to sleep. In that moment, I'm not multi-tasking, planning dinner, running errands, cleaning the house, or working on church work. In that moment, I'm simply a mama. No tasks. No distractions. Just peace and awe at the gift I've been given. 

I breathe a prayer of gratitude that my boy feels safe, loved, comforted. And I slip out of his room while he continues to sleep. I  step back into the busyness of tasks and put all my hats back on as I tackle whatever projects are needed to be accomplished for the day. 

But for just a moment, twice a day, during nap time; I'm simply mama.  :-)